While visiting New Orleans'French Quarter this week, I seized the
opportunity to have my fortune told by a genuine gypsy woman that
Hollywood couldn’t have cast better for the part.
Other than the usual predictions of fame fortune and long life, she
claims to have seen my head stone in her crystal ball.
“It’s getting clearer” she repeated, over and over until she clapped her
hands and laughed, so loud, the rest of bourbon street stopped to see what
the old witch could find so amusing in a dead mans final resting place. My
curiosity got the better of me as I leaned forward to catch a glimpse of the
fading apparition. I only saw it briefly. But, it was enough to read what the
engravers had toiled for days to create:
"Here lies Ratboy,
He died with a smile
105 years old
and shot
by a jealous husband."
After the laughs and back slapping died down, I experienced a
premonition of my own. Along a more sinister line. Some of you may
think this warning premature and I'm sure it is. But, we must, at all cost,
see to it that the representatives of Brunel -Brauer never be allowed to
come in contact with or speak to the Amphibians.
My premonition revealed a short period of cooperation and joint
venture between B&B and our team of probes, followed by a secret
meeting between P&H and a representative of the MARSupial family, to
discuss the mutual benefit of combining their technology and cash reserves
with our experience and skills in AI Probe Communications &
Psychoanalysis supported by the massive "Think Tank", we have
established through the world wide web. Millions of people, dedicated, as
a group, to solving problems as they arise, creating scenarios, anticipating
future problems and suggesting protocol and procedures, for use in, the
many, diverse, situations that haven’t even been dreamed of yet.
This arrangement works well for some time. With all parties involved
reaping benefits, so large that they exceed the greed level of the, once,
growth hungry Mega- corporation . Until the discovery of an Amphibian
scout party, marooned on Earth, causes B&B to revert to their back
stabbing ways. In a secret meeting, the Amphibians convince the
executives of B7B to accept positions of power and immunity from
persecution in exchange for their cooperation in expediting the inevitable
invasion and enslavement of Earth. Parker & Harden immediately buy into
the Amphibian’s proposition that “resistance is futile “ and the best chance
of survival is to be the first ones to collaborate with the invaders. To make
a long story short, Brunel-Brauer arranges the means by which the
castaways are able to send for reinforcements, Earth is invaded by a force
so large the Ipsols are unable to defend against them, life on Earth is
completely destroyed including the unfortunate executives of B&B who
where, conveniently, mistaken for MARSupials and executed in the
traditional Amphibian method. Cooked alive and eaten with grilled onions
and sautéed mushrooms. Except for Parker and Harden who’s constant
bickering, over who’s idea it was to trust these guys in the first place,
amused the Supreme Phib so much, he decided to keep them as pets. Five
years later, Parker is still getting used to the litter box and Harden has
finally stopped sucking his thumb.
The only way to stop this chain of events is to capture the Phib scout
team before B&B learns of their existence and turn them over to the
Ipsolstie for judgment.
On the other hand, the thought of Parker running in that wheel and
Harden playing fetch has a certain, shall we say, pleasant appeal.
Ratboy