[A man enters the Mess. He is wearing a flight suit and a fleece lined leather jacket. On the back of the jacket is the strangely familiar nose art, on the front is the name 'Bandicoot'. He is carrying a medium-sized fiber loop, er, canvas sack. He stops at the kitchen door and looks in...]
Hey Murphy! I'm sorry about not giving you any notice, but you're going to have to start fixing a feast. We've just been given our first REAL excuse to party.
[He turns from the kitchen and goes to the common area. Finding a table that seems to be near the center of the Mess, he steps up onto the table. After apologizing for knocking over Psiclops' drink, he clears his throat and says...]
Felicitations fellow MARSupials!
Please! Gather around! I have an important announcement to make. C'mon! Don't be shy.
[He waits and repeats this until everyone decides that if they don't go over, he won't go away...]
OK. It is my absolute pleasure to make this announcement. It seems that we have discovered the identity of "it" and, in the same fell swoop, found the probe known as Daniel. This bit of discovery, well, detective work, really, was the work of one of our own, joule.
[Searching the small sea of faces, he sees our hero]
Come on up here, joule. We've got something for you.
[After much prodding, joule joins him on the tabletop. The man pulls a mahogany box the size of a shoebox from the canvas sack. He continues]
On or about 26 March 1997, you, joule, did display extraordinary perception and diligence in solving one of MarsDawn's most perplexing mysteries to date, namely, the fate of Daniel. Because of your efforts, and in the grand tradition of the EarthCommies' Golden Sock, it is my pleasure to bestow upon you the Order of the Crystalline Pouch.
[He opens the box to reveal the award to joule and all present {AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm leaving it to individual imagination to determine what it looks like} He extends his hand...]
Congratulations!
[He jumps down from the table]
Let the festivities begin!!!